She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize