I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I'm getting married
To pizza
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
