.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize