Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
