My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
They have beer where we have blood.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
