just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
