no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Found the puke drawer
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
