listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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