I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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