that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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