and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
