Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
