Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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