Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Your cock deserves a montage
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
