On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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