Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
