what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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