I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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