I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
