My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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