That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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