Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
