Little spoons don't ask big questions
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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