It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
