oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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