so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
