She said her name was "party"
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize