Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
