I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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