I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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