How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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