yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
