omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
