Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
