I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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