The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
