After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
