The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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