At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
