i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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