So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
