Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
