i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Floor bacon is actually really good
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
