we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
