Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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