We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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