please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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