I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
