I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i already hear my dad disowning me
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Randomize
