Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
