if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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