Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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