it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
