oh god the rape fog is back!
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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