This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
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