He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
