he wants to bone in the snuggie
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
