And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize