did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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