we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
