Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
The cops high fived after they tackled you
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