Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize