Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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