omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
