talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
